Thursday 24 October 2013

24/10/13

Mrs Pollard has left the building.


We tried. We really tried. We tried everything we could.

The live in carer idea seemed amazing on paper but was just not meant to be. Mums dementia has progressed too far to control with the normal diversionary tactics that have been so successful over the years. The violent outbursts have become too common and the mood swings too unpredictable. After a huge amount of soul searching Mum has been admitted to hospital for assessment to try to work out if  meds can stabilise the condition, without removing too much of the Mum we all remember.

The plan is that Mum will then go from the hospital straight to a care home. We know this is the best, the only answer but it was such an unbelievably difficult decision to make.

Mum has left the house she loved so much, never to return

When you have spent your whole life in the company of someone so strong, intelligent and able to rise above whatever life threw in their direction it is so hard to become the person to decide their future.

To see Mum today, asleep, drugged, half on half off a hospital bed in a such a stark, bare room very nearly broke me in two. 

This lady who has been a tower of strength and wisdom for so many years.
This lady who sat quietly in the wings ready to offer the most amazing help and counsel, but only when needed.
This lady who was  the most amazing, intelligent, caring, wise, loving lady you could ever hope to meet.

To see her, so helpless made me realise the roles have been reversed. We are now the ones who need to be strong, wise and caring. This is Mums Hour of need. 

Over to us.












2 comments:

  1. You said it yourself. You will be able to help & support Carol because you can. She has passed her strength on to her children. You have done a marvellous job so far, that others with more specialised knowledge are now helping as well is no reflection on you, rather a compliment to your skill in making Carol's last few years at home so good for her.
    Now you must let go a bit and this is going to be even harder to cope with. Again, you have just said it. Think of how Carol would have reacted in your place and you will be fine.

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  2. You have done the absolute best you could for your mum and this is now the absolute best that you can do for her. This is the next stage of her journey and one which you will come to appreciate allows you to continue to care for her with love and affection. Thinking of you all xxx

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