Cake

Going Visiting

 

Down to Norfolk on Monday evening to drop Mum at Fabia's. They are attending a talk about the poet John Clare at the Marshlands Society, then the pub. Tuesday they will go to Norwich to see the Nutcracker then weather permitting Hunstanton for a picnic before the Mummy Returns on Wednesday.


Sarah has a week off work using up Holidays before the change of job so we stay up late on Monday, dont do the dishes and turn the music up to nearly 3.5. Party on dudes.

On Tuesday we travelled up north to meet fellow blogger and twitterer @beeze. Or Bee as she is known in real life. On the way stop off for a cup of tea in Wigan with another Twitterer @aliegorey where I promptly fell in love with this..

I think the time may be right to rejoin the biking fraternity.


From Wigan on to Ramsbottom. 

I have now met three people who I know solely from twitter and all have been lovely people, Bee is no exception. I have mentioned Bee's blog a few times as the one that got me started, as she cares for her mother, another dementia sufferer. Its a funny feeling walking into a house you have seen so many times in photos, almost like walking on to the set of a tv show or movie.

A great lunch on the patio, home made quiche to die for followed by this..

..absolutely amazing carrot cake. The afternoon simply flew by, comparing notes and tips, Sarah and I had intended to visit the peak district for a walk on the way back but have to make a dash for home for Sarahs first visit to Beer and Books. Good turnout again. lots of spirited discussion and beer. All in all a cracking couple of days off, and the weather was an amazing bonus too!

Pictures at last

At Last Some Pictures of Mums "Little house"

 The shower. Programmable to limit the maximum flow and temperature to avoid scalding.

 Mirror and units. Also quite a good view of the waterproof wall panelling.

 Toilet And heated towel rail.

The cursed mirror doors and looking through to the wet room from the bed..

 Bed, blind and voiles.

Wet room door and shelving. Continues over the door to the wardrobe on the left.

From the hall looking through the new door into the "little house"

The wetroom, waterproof panelled from floor to ceiling, has been made large enough to allow a chair to be used and plenty of access for a carer as and when the need should arise.


No Day off.


As I think I may have mentioned previously, my younger sister has cut her working week from five to four days to enable her to travel over and spend some time with Mum and give me a day off. Unfortunately, due to a medical condition that required her to be in close proximity to a bathroom at all times she couldn't make it this week, I didn't realise just how much we would miss her. Luckily Sarah took Mum clothes shopping this morning so half a day off and a lie in.


Sometimes you don't realise just how much of your day is filled with care, and how much longer it takes to get anything done. A simple thing like popping down to the shops is no longer a 5 minute affair. By the time Mum has decided on the correct combination of jumpers, coats, vests and gloves there's an hour gone. A trip round Sainsburys with all the wonderful things Mum has "never seen before", each one needing a closer inspection and full description.


I realise that as things progress more and more of my time will be dedicated to Mum. I read a few other blogs written by other carers for dementia sufferers at various stages to try to help me to prepare for what may be to come. One written by Bee is well worth a read, she is having a bit of a hard time at the moment so it would be lovely if some of you would pop on over to her blog, "her absent mind" (opens in a new window), have a read and maybe say hello? 

Good news, Mothers day, Americans etc.

Good news.

No more accidents this week so it would appear that the doctor was right. Just need confirmation from the sample.

Mum has well and truly settled into her little house now. Any guests get the full guided tour, including the lovely view of her Jag out of the window. Still a few teething problems with the wardrobe doors but will persevere for a bit longer as things do seem to be getting a little easier.

She loves the walk in shower so we are trying to get a bit of a routine going, Dinner, shower, pyjamas,TV then bed. This will hopefully help us to put out clothes for the following day so we can have a little control over some of the outfits.

Good week in general this week. Fabia swimming with Mum on Tuesday then doing a bit of gardening. While we had the chance Sarah and I popped out for a cheeky pint or two in the evening. Trying to make the effort to sneak as much time alone together as possible.

Up to Rutland Water for a walk on Friday,beautiful scenery but a little breezy as you can see.

Hot coffee and cakes soon had us back to normal.




Mothers Day.


Joined by two of Sarahs three, Sarahs Mum and her Partner, Sarahs Nan and the lovely Gentleman. Sarahs Nan has reached the age of 98 and looks like she has another 98 to go. Mum does enjoy a bit of a do. Flowers, chocolates and wine, as you can see she was carried away with the excitement,

An absolutely amazing bit of beef with all the trimmings followed by Sarahs fruit pies was thoroughly enjoyed by the nine of us.All in all a really good day was had by all.


Americans.


If you get a few minutes spare pop over to this blog, have a read and congratulate them on getting 10,000 views. It offers another perspective on dementia and its care, it is one of the best written blogs I have found on the subject and pulls no punches about the illness.


Beer and Books


Got an email from my local Waterstones this week to see if I am still accepting members for my book club as there is a lot of interest apparently? I think it may be more the beer than the books. I have dropped off as flyer anyway to see how much interest there actually is. If there's enough I think I will start another night. Don't really want to increase the the size of the present one as it feels so comfortable now. We will see.

A quick update

Whats up doc?

Managed to get an appointment at the doctors for Mum today. He is confident it is a bladder infection. Combined with mums dementia this is causing the accidents. We have a drug and a sample bottle. Luckily mum feels confident about filling the bottle herself. I am happy to administer the drugs so that's fine.

So all's well for now. I am very aware that incontinence is something that is likely to rear its ugly head at some point in the future, but for now we should be ok.

Back to explaining how the mirrors in the wardrobe work then.

A challenging week.

Her little house.


After all the fuss about moving last weekend proved to be a lot easier than we expected. Mum used the shower on Sunday and found that to be a wonderful experience so she then decided she would move in after all and she really liked it. Relief. A lovely set of voiles in the window and a few pictures moved down from her old room and it looks very cosy.


Mum decided as she had enjoyed the shower so much she would try the room for a night on Sunday and see how it goes. Brilliant night, she went to bed at her usual time and slept through till 7ish in the morning. Too good to be true? Yes. Monday night/ Tuesday morning about 3 oclock I hear cries of Help Help. Flashbacks to the first few days of the caravan holiday. I find Mum halfway up the stairs in tears, hard to tell if she is asleep or awake so gently guide her back to bed and sit with her for an hour or so till she calms and drifts off back into a deep sleep. I think she had half woken and found herself in a strange room and panicked, to be expected I suppose. We kept Mum busy moving clothes and deciding where things should go in her room, something she really enjoys, and generally putting the finishing touches.


Through the week Mum has settled in very well, even describing the rooms as "Her little house". Obviously there are a few teething  problems, I think the mirror wardrobe doors may have to go as they seem to cause some confusion as to how many doors and beds there are in the room. If that is the worst part of the move its a very small price to pay.


Pissed off


When you take on the role of carer for a parent you face a lot of trials and tests, especially with a condition like dementia. Watching the gradual deterioration is a hard thing to live with. Someone who has always been a tower of strength and able to deal with any problem that comes their way gradually disappearing to be replaced with someone who becomes more and more reliant on yourself. To watch the frustration and anger take a hold as everyday things become more and more difficult can be heartbreaking. This week we had a new bridge to cross. Mum has started to wet herself.


There`s no easy way to type that. My mum has started to wet herself.  Not a lot can prepare you for having to mop up after your Mum, get her to change and wash the clothes she was wearing, and try to keep her calm as she is, obviously, very distressed. Obviously this could be a temporary thing, we will find out at the doctors tomorrow if we can get mum to describe any symptoms. So far there doesn`t seem to be any " It just happens"


I thought long and hard whether to mention this here, but feel I should as it is part and parcel of accepting the role of carer. Its not all caravans and christmas trees. When the weeks going well dont rest on your laurels as there could well be a curve ball hurtling your way.

The ladies not for moving.

Flu

Well I seem to have made a recovery from the flu, all that is left is a lingering cough and the snuffles. It really did knock me for six for a full seven days, which probably hasnt helped with mum...

Grans Designs

The bed and blind arrived as scheduled, both looking lovely in the room, a fact that Mum fully agreed with as we put the bed together. Then, in conversation about making plans for the move at the weekend she has dug her heels in..She doesnt want to be in the room, she never did want to be in the room  and she doesnt even like the room. Compound this with a long long speech about how she has no money and she will have no food and lots of references to "the thing".

Slightly taken aback we have left her in front of the telly with a g&t to calm down a little.  I think/hope there was just a litle confusion about us talking about "the move" She seems to think that once she moves into her new room the rest of the house will have gone elsewhere and she will be on her own. I am just guessing at that but it seems to make sense, maybe linking the word moving to all the house moves in the past?

I will pop out with her tomorrow to buy a new quilt and pillows and a net curtain, then make up the bed and maybe move a few pictures downstairs, this may do the trick. Failing that it may just be a case of biting the bullet at the weekend and moving stuff. could be an interesting couple of days. Thank god Sarah's here to help.

Beer and Books.

In other matters, the second meeting of the book club was held on Tuesday night and was , I think, a great success. Two new members which is always a good thing, two no shows which isnt. Turns out one person who shall remain nameless (Elinor) turned up on the wrong night. The other , George, will return for the next meeting I hope.

The book discussed was "At Home" by Bill Bryson, where he takes a room at a time in his house and discusses the history of how these rooms developed and facts connected to each room. Only two of us actually managed to finish the book but most of the others will finish it given time. We all agreed it is a very verbose volume, sometimes a little too so for all of our liking, and maybe better suited as a a "toilet book" to be dipped in to every now and then rather than read cover to cover. 

We discussed the fact that the facts in the book sometimes had very tenuous connections to the rooms they were linked with, maybe the book was cobbled together from older research for his other books? All present scored the book out of 10, giving an average score of just under 7.

The book for discussion at the next meeting will be "Daphne" by Justine Picardie, selected by the name out of a hat method. There is a good synopsis Here if you fancy joining in.